Grocery Shopping with “help”

This morning was grocery day.  Since I have been off work, I have made Friday morning grocery morning and this week was no exception.  My typical trips take about 40 minutes – this one took 1 hour and 30 minutes total and the only change was I had the kids with me.

Let’s discuss this trip.  First came the buggy selection.  Normally I grab a standard buggy and hit the aisles; while today Eli was insisting on riding in the car buggy.  In order to avoid the upcoming meltdown, we got the car buggy and shopping began.  My kids both began to complain that they were cold, this was the produce section and only 5 minutes into the trip.  I managed to get the product and made my way to the next section, the bakery.  I quickly remembered that today is “National Donut Day” so I bribed them with a donut each to be good ;halfway through the store the name calling started and both kids had to be dealt with – by removing the donuts from the buggy. Once we discussed that they could get them back if they were good the rest of the trip, they returned to some effort of being good and the trip continued.

Two aisle later they were cold again.  My mantra at this point was Suck it Up Buttercup to both kids and internally I was reminding myself that we were almost done and no one was dead.   I am counting this as a win.

We get to the check out and donuts have been reclaimed by the children.  I managed the trip to the store, didn’t lose a kid or my sanity.  So far this was a win, until we get to the car.  Upon arriving to the car to unload the buggy, Eli pinches his hand and has a melt down, both kids are calling each other names, and I am debating getting a large coke from the drive thru window next door.  We almost made it.

In total the trip, from start to finish took twice as long as normal and wasn’t a complete success.

 

Maybe next week!

 

 

 

Summer Fun (or something like it)

Remember when you were a kid and the word “Summer” brought thoughts of fun, sun and play? Well, I have discovered that my idea of summer is outdated; at least in the eyes of my kids.

As a kid, all I wanted to do during my summer was play, read, and have fun.  There were chores and other activities too but once those were finished the summer day s stretched in front of me as with endless possibilities.  We played badmitton, rode bikes, made mudpies and walked up and down the family “hill” to visit grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins.  We blew bubbles and ate watermelon in the back yard and spent many hours shucking corn, snapping beans and shelling peas under trees with the knowledge that dinner was going to be good.

My kids have different ideas of summer.  It seems to be a time of inside play, complaining and wanting to be plugged into some type of electronic entertainment.    This may be their idea of summer but this Momma has other plans.  Each day we have outside play time where they are slowly learning to use their imaginations, we have book time and yes even some plugged in time.  I am attempting to teach my kiddos that fun can be made, by yourself.  Experiences are what you make of them and Summer is for fun without a cord.

 

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day.  A day set aside for us to remember those who gave their all for our freedom and for our way of life.  For most Americans, Memorial Day is simply a day to BBQ, hang with the family and kick off the summer.  For others, it is a day of mourning.   Mourning lost dreams, lost loves, lost opportunities and most of all the empty feeling they are left with.

 

I am reminded of a trip to Washington DC from my childhood on this day.  As a child, Memorial Day  and Veterans Day didn’t really mean much- until this trip.  My dad is a Vietnam Vet.  He returned home while many of his friends didn’t.  On this trip to Washington DC, we visited the monuments and the Vietnam Memorial.  I vividly remember and hold tight the image of my dad standing at the wall, searching for the names of his fallen friends.  I remember him sitting on the ground and just staring off, remembering those men.  It was at that moment that I realized what a heartache others hold on Memorial Day.  A day that reminds me each year that I am a luck one, my loved one came home when so many others didn’t.  When so many others only received heartache, pain and loss.  Nothing we can say or do will ever heal this pain.  Nothing we can do will ever be able to replace their lost loves.  But we can honor them- so make your focus today those who fell for our way of life.

Reflections

This week has been the first week at home with both kids out of school.  I have spent a lot of time thinking of various things – in and around various household chores and lots of kid conversations – I have really spent a lot of time thinking.

 

Reflection 1: God will not give us more than we can handle.

I hear this phrase over and over lately, especially as I am still out of work and knowing that Jeremy’s will end soon. I struggle with the idea that God thinks I can handle all the chaos and uncertainty that I feel right now.  Yesterday, I was standing in our front door and was watching our tree in the front yard tossing its leaves to and fro in the wind, and I realized that God will not give us more than we can handle because he is there to help us handle it and to share the weight.  Just as the trunk of the tree was there to help the limbs and to support the limbs in the wind, God is there as our trunk – we just have to hold on tight.

 

Reflection 2: Faith – Faith is believing without seeing.

I struggle with faith, I believe God has a plan and a path for us but sometimes I really want to see it.  Faith is belief without proof.  Is there an easy solution to wanting to see Gods plan? Not really thus the need for me to increase my faith.  The Bible says that the faith the size of a mustard seed.  HMM.  Things to ponder.

 

Reflection 3: Children

No matter how exasperated or crazy my kids make me – there is nothing better than being their mom.  I am struggling to find the balance in being responsible all the time and just enjoying the mess.   All I have figured out is this – everyday is different, there will be days where  I need a “mommy timeout” and I have to take time for myself in order for me to be the best mommy for my kids.

 

 

 

Weekend Review

This weekend was a crazy whirlwind of activity and celebration.  I thought I would share a little of my weekend with you and I hope you had a great time with your family too.

Friday afternoon started the whirlwind of activities.  Not only was it the last day of school for Lily and the rest of the Blanchard Elementary School Kids but it was also graduation day for my oldest niece Alex Perkins.  This graduation was near and dear to my heart – Alex was my first “kid” – she was born while I was in college and I instantly fell in love with this beautiful red head.

Alex and I have enjoyed a ton of time together lately from getting to travel to Dallas to shop for a Prom dress to being there to help with her Prom weekend.  This Nonna has loved every second of it so graduation was NOT going to be missed.

We left Friday afternoon headed to Camden Arkansas to attend graduation later that night.  This took a little longer than planned due to an accident and a detour through parts of Louisiana that we haven’t seen before, but before long we were back on our track and headed to graduation.  We arrived in time to grab some dinner and change clothes before heading to the school.  The ceremony was full of honors to speeches to encourage the graduates.   We loved on our niece before heading to the hotel.  While I would love to say a good nights sleep happened, my gallbladder had other ideas.   I had a miserable night and the next morning was still in pain as we headed to visit with the family.  Alex was still asleep after a long night celebrating but the family was there to visit and so visit we did.  Spending time with the family is pretty much the best way to spend a weekend in my opinion.  The drive home later that morning was really a blank thanks to some meds I took for pain and I spent the remainder of the day sleepy.  Sunday came way to soon and was spent resting up for the rest of the celebrations.  We attended the 30th anniversary reception for one of the childcare workers at our First Baptist Church Blanchard Child Development Center.  Ms. Opal is a wonderful person who truly loves the kids like they are her own.  Flash forward a few hours and it was time for the second graduation of the weekend.  My baby boy, Eli graduated from the Child development center 4 year old program and will be headed to “big school” next year.

 

Did mom cry? No but I will admit that all these kids growing up and moving into the next phase does cause me a little twing of pain.

I can only hope that we are parents, aunts, uncles and friends can set the example they need as they move into another phase.

 

 

Return to Blogging.

Today marks a very important day for me – today I return here to my blog.  After my depression posts – I knew I needed to take some time off to re-center myself and to work on some issues.   Today I fell ready to return and to refocus on this part of the Journey

Someone asked me – why blogging?

Here is my list of WHY

  1. I have enjoyed reading various bloggers over the last several years.  I find some to be fun and adventurous in what they share while others are more informative.  Each one has given me reason to stop and think, enjoyment and some form of escape.
  2. I feel the need to share in some way with others, not that I am blogging about anything specific but instead about myself and what I feel I need to share at the moment.
  3. Why not.  Why not put yourself out there and be a little brave? – This is my bravery right now.

Now for a list of WHAT

  1. I share my thoughts.
  2. I share my experiences
  3. I share my heart.

Do I have a set format? NO.  Do I plan what I will share – NO.  Will there be days where I don’t share – YES.  I simply share when I feel the need and at times I may take a short break to refocus but until then – WELCOME!

Runners High and depression.

Last week I dove into the difficult topic of depression and anxiety.  Today I want to talk a little about some of the techniques I use to help cope with my issues.  I have always known that exercise a great way to assist in raising ones spirits but I wasn’t very good at putting that technique to use.  Lately I have had plenty of time to focus more on myself and honestly need to find things to keep myself occupied so exercise has become part of my daily routine.

Now some people love to do hit the gym, join groups to workout or to walk and those things are great but they aren’t really for me.  I personally like to sweat in my own space and to hide my awkwardness inside my own home so I have been doing the 21 Day Fix videos and loving them.  The videos are great but lately I have been wanting to try running again.  I have in the past ran using the c25k programs and love it until my knee starts to swell and hurt, then I stop and give up again.  Until last week.

Last week I was out for my daily prayer walk and felt the urge to run.  So I did.  I ran thinking I would run a minute or two and be over the urge. That is not what happened.  Instead, I ran for almost a solid mile. WHAT?!!   Not only did I run, but I immediately knew I wanted to do it again.  I felt this amazing feeling of accomplishment and a rush of exhilaration.  This is often called a runners high.  Not only did this feel good immediately after the run, but they continued long after the run was over.  So what happens next? – I ran again today.  This time for 1.81 miles and I can’t wait to go back tomorrow.

So how does this relate to last weeks post?  It’s simple.  Runners high or exercise high in general can help my balance my anxiety and depression.  I immediately feel better after my workouts and I know that not only is it helping my physical health but my mental well being.  And that alone – is worth the sweat!

Depression and Anxiety

I have never been one to shy away from the truth.  I have depression and anxiety – it is a daily struggle and it is something that many people deal with on a daily basis.  I am not ashamed to admit that I deal with these two problems.

Many people assume depression means being sad or not being able to deal with your daily life and for some people that is exactly what it is but that is not all depression is.  For me, there are days when I can’t function – getting out of bed is a struggle some days, other days are almost normal I seem happy just quiet not really able to verbalize, and there are still other days when I seem to have it all together, I am up and moving and seem to be perfectly happy but real reason I am up and moving is because as long as I am moving I am ok for that moment.  Of course, like most depression diagnosed people, I do have good days where I feel normal and things are great.  Often the good days are more frequent than the bad days.  What I am saying may be cliche’ – Depression looks different for different people and on different days.  There is no one set look/for depression. We all look different, we all deal in different ways.  Just like God made us all different – depression is different for everyone.

I once had someone tell me I could not have depression because I didn’t look sick.  News flash – I look fairly healthy, a little pale, circles under my eyes but normal, not sick.  Don’t assume that someone is okay or not okay based on what you see.  Look at their actions.

Anxiety is a whole other cookie to crumble.  Anxiety is not all OCD and panic attacks although I do have exhibit those two particular traits.  I also get short of breath and feel like I am having an asthma attack, I get really quiet and nervous and often feel the need to eat ice cream in order to calm my nerves.  I know others who stay inside their homes and can’t leave or be around people.  I need to get out and be out of the house when an attack hits – inside the house the walls start to close in and that makes the panic worse.

There are lots of treatments for these two issues and they aren’t all for everyone.  There are medications both prescription and alternative, therapy, groups, bible studies, exercise, journaling, and the list could go on and on and one.  There is not one set pill for everyone and we all react differently to meds so they may not be for everyone.  Personally, I use a combination of treatments including medications, exercise, bible study and therapy as needed.  I am not ashamed to tell the world this, instead if this touches base with one individual then I have done some good.

I guess the main point of this post is this – it is okay to deal with these issues, it is okay to say ” I need help”, it is okay to say “no”, it is okay to get help and to need therapy or meds or whatever treatment works because you only have one life to live and you may as well enjoy it.

HUGS to everyone dealing with these.

Five Things Friday

So I am back with another 5 Things Friday.

  1.  Pumpkin – yes, I love almost all things pumpkin in the fall, always have.  But my love does not extend to pumpkin coffee, give me breads, candles, etc but not coffee.
  2. I have eaten almost an entire bag of cookies this week.  I stress eat people in massive amounts.
  3. My house is pretty much decorated for halloween on the inside which is my domain.  The outside is still a work in progress by the “Halloween Man’
  4. I went grocery shopping this morning and managed to get in and out of walmart in less than an hour.
  5. I haven’t been sleeping well so I may or may not have attempted to open the garage with my phone after the grocery trip

Squirrels vs. Lorna AKA The Squirrel Story

So many of you may already know that I have squirrel issues, if you didn’t know this little gem of knowledge then hold on tight as I tell the stories. (yes, more than one!)

Story One:

My parents lived in a house surrounded by woods,tree and of course wildlife.  It was not a surprise to know that occasionally a small friend might find its way into the attic. Early one morning while I was in college and living at home I was half asleep when I heard something running around the floor.  I assumed it was our family dog and that he was playing, then I remembered the dog was very old and hadn’t come into my room in a few years.  Suddenly, I felt something jump on the bed.  I slowly rolled over and opened my eyes and was shocked to find on the pillow next to me was a squirrel.  I screamed, the squirrel screamed and then it happened – the squirrel jumped spread eagle onto my face!  I separated my face and the squirrel and I proceeded to bury myself in the covers at the end of my bed.  Now all the screaming has awakened the rest of the family members, so in came my parents at a full run only to find me in a ball at the bottom of my bed and the squirrel running rampant around my room.  Upon taking in this site, my parents get me out the room and calmed down and proceed to get the squirrel out of the house.  It took a while for me to be able to sleep in my room without being worried that a squirrel would show back up.

Story Two:

Several years after story one occurred I was working in Desoto Parish with the LSU AgCenter.  We had been having a few problems with the air conditioner and one morning opened the closet where the air unit was housed.  It was then we realized that a squirrel had made its way into that space.   We opened the doors to the closet wide and opened the back door that was directly across from the closet in hopes that the squirrel would chose to leave.  It did not, instead the squirrel decided on a different plan of attack to the situation.  I was sitting at my desk working on a newsletter for the 4-H kids when I glanced up and sitting in the chair directly across from me was the squirrel.  Not only was the squirrel sitting in my chair, it blocked the path to the door.  Once eye contact had been made the squirrel made its move.  It jumped down from the chair and ran under my desk – at the same time I jumped up and raced to the door of my office with the squirrel in hot pursuit.  With help from the other ladies in the office, we managed to get the squirrel out of the back door, and I was saved again.

Now for two days I have been confronted by a squirrel in our garage.  So as you can see, I have squirrel issues.

Hopefully this squirrel will stay away but I have a feeling story three may be in the works.

Stay tuned,